As children growing up we are all asked two simple questions:
Who are you?
What do you want to be when you grow up?
(also translated as what do you plan to do with your life?)

Sure there are kids out there that could easily answer that question. They had dreams from a young age, aspirations, they were blessed with the ability to already know who they were and could set out following that dream from the moment they thought it up, allowing them to be successful at a young age. For me, that wasn't the case.

Throughout my quarter of a century so far on earth, I've found these two question to be the most annoying, difficult questions to answer. What do you mean, “who am I?” I'm STILL trying to figure that out. While my parents were on their course of dream chasing, I spent my young years moving from school to school, church to church, house to house, recognizing at a young age that options ARE possible.

I've NEVER known what I wanted to be when I grew up. Of course I would throw around ideas based on my hobbies or based on what others thought would be best for me. But really, the only thing I wanted to do when I grew up was: to love, be loved, and be happy.

I had multiple teachers throughout the years that would use those two questions as an ice breaker at the beginning of a lesson. Teachers that when I gave my answer, would correct me in saying that wasn't the right answer and that it didn't apply to that question. It wasn't the type of answer they were looking for.

What they didn't realize was that it was the answer they needed all along. Its the answer all of us need. Love leads the way. I always knew this in my heart and always tried to keep it the main focus of my mind.

I used to let tears quietly fall from the corners of my eyes out of embarrassment for not being able to give teachers the answer they were looking for. Embarrassed that the rest of the class had normal kid-dream answers and I, no matter how much I tried to think of what my dream occupation or “passion” was, I couldn't come up with the right answer. 

This embarrassment led to fear. Fear of being different. I was different. I've had others along the way let me know. “You're not from this world,” my father-in-law would jokingly say. He was right. I've never felt I belonged in the world I was living in.

It wasn't until my adult years that I realized that my way of thinking was all wrong. I didn't belong to this world because the world actually belonged to me. I was put here to take care of the earth, and to make use of the treasures and gifts hidden within. To be one with nature. 

To be nurtured by nature.


<3

Fun Fact About Me: Over the past few years I have secretly been battling severe anxiety and depression. I have come a long way on my journey, this past year especially, and am so thankful for the love and support given to me by my close friends and loving husband through it all. While going through old files on my computer, I came across a poem I wrote during an anxiety attack. I began using my love for writing to release my emotions and help strengthen my healing process. Upon reading this again many months later, I am very pleased with how far I have come. I'm sure anyone battling anxiety can relate to the majority of this piece. Please read through to the end, as I hope it may inspire and help you on your own journey. Please feel free to share. <3