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What Do You Know About Love?

2/13/2016

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What Do You Know About Love?

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Kissing - Alex Grey

I was recently asked to write about love. The thought of it made me cringe.

“You're in it, in love, and not everyone gets to experience that,”
my inspiring neighbor and fellow writer said to me.

I simply couldn't help but reply with an unnecessarily bashful response, stuttering over the words that tried to form sentences of why in fact I did not want to write about love.

...


Apart from the occasional blog post, I spend a great deal of time writing for an online poetry community. My writings range from magic and mystics to the dark lonely thoughts of suicide and anxiety. I've always been able to embrace emotions through writing, it comes with an intuitive young girl's fascination of Edgar Allen Poe and Shakespeare and years of experience performing in theater and on the stage. Love has always been one of those topics I found to be corny and sometimes annoying, believing that the audience I was after would rather hear about struggles and depressions versus the tale of the “White Knight on his fiery steed.”


I have vivid memories of 19 to 22 year old me, heartbroken over the most recent break-up and coping with my feelings through blasting my usual sad girl mix-tape, with music ranging from Rilo Kiley's “Breaking Up” and A Fine Frenzy's “Almost Lover” to Sarah Bareilles' “Love Song,” where she refuses to sing about love when told she needed to in order to make it big in modern society's music scene. I remember standing in front of my full-length mirror, tears streaming like waterfalls from my tired, turquoise eyes as I reenact my high school moments of Sandra Dee's lamentation of being “Hopelessly Devoted” to the wrong you, followed by my own interpretation of Queen's “Somebody to Love” with red, swollen eyes of heartache quickly growing into an empowering anger; fed up with notions of story-book love I've been trying so hard to believe in as I belt into my reflection, microphone-hairbush in hand, screaming lyrics into the universe from the deepest pit of my heart “CAN ANYNODY FIND ME SOMEBODY TO LOVE?”



When I first met my now husband, I wanted nothing to do with love. When we started dating, I wanted nothing to do with love. When I decided to leave him because my guarded heart was still hidden by the iron armor I fashioned for myself over my years as an independent woman to stay safe from the inflicting pain of brokenheartedness, I wanted nothing to do with love. However, when I literally cried on my best friends shoulder for an entire 24 hours after the break-up, only to agree to meet with him later to give him the much deserved reasoning of why I didn't want to be in a relationship with him, I realized that maybe, just maybe, deep in the dwellings of my iron-hidden heart, I might actually be, for once, on the right path to love.


When I think of love, especially this time of year, I think of the ooey-gooey, romantic, over-the-top, commercialized version of love that our culture has instilled in our minds and hearts throughout the years. Candy hearts and boxes of chocolates, gaudy jewelry and a dozen roses to make up for each rose you forgot to give her for every month of the past year. Then of course, I am reminded of the story of St. Valentine, performing marriages when marriage was outlawed as well as Lupercalia, the historical pagan festival of fertility that falls around this time of year. This festival is known for its tradition of blood and gore through smearing the blood-drenched hides of sacrificial animals on women and crops alike, symbolizing fertility and purification. As messed up as that may sound to modern culture, women welcomed the touch of the hides, believing it would make them more fertile in the coming year and knowing that later the same day, they would be matched with their future groom.


I like to think that the type of love I've experienced and can speak of from the heart falls somewhere in the midst of these extremes. I've learned that love is more than that percussive heart-beat felt between the lungs, vibrating through our ribs, sending butterflies through our solar plexus. It doesn't take true love to feel that kind of sensation. All the years of heartache and heartbreak have reminded me of that time and again. When I met my love, none of that happened. It was definitely one of those “eyes meet across a crowd of people” moments, but there were never butterflies. Butterflies mean you're nervous. True love should never make you nervous.


Love isn't all smiles and dandelions either. In fact, love is more like the infinite interconnectedness of the feminine yin with the masculine yang. Love is about finding balance. It's about compromise. It's about learning from each other, understanding each other, knowing why this time he might be right, learning to bite your tongue and let it go before the dispute grows strong. Love is about giving each other space and respecting their need for “me-time.” We all need me time.


Love is about over-coming challenges together. Love is finding the good in the bad. Yes, the greater portion of love is dedicated to peace and harmony, smooth-sailing while enjoying each others company and living the simple life; cuddles on the couch, grocery dates, dog walks, nature treks and day-after-day of holding each other in lovers embrace as the sun goes down, wishing on stars as we venture into the night. Yet at the same time, love is so much more.


Love is realizing when the other doesn't have the inner-strength to communicate. When you need to put your compassion, patience and understanding on high-gear to sympathize, empathize, and comfort with both gentleness and respect. We are all human. We all feel things. We all get stuck in our heads.


Love is about helping the other back to the present moment, even if all it means is sitting quietly next to her in silence, as she lets her fears and worries slip away, gazing into nothingness, until she can quiet her mind enough to grab your hand and hold it tight. Love is having faith that worry will subside and everything will work out in time.


Love is knowing when you need to make a change. Change is continuous. We grow, we evolve and we adapt. Love is about accepting change when the time is right. It's about diving into the grand adventure of the abyss and willingly taking risks. Whether changing jobs, homes, or simply your way of life, adventures are always better when the one you love is by your side.


Love is apologizing when you know that you were wrong. Acknowledging that the unkind and offensive remark, whether you meant it or not, still flew off your tongue as glass arrows, piercing and shattering the unintentionally targeted and much undeserving heart.


Love is knowing when you have over-indulged, so the smallest argument doesn't result in a black-and-blue hand-print on the back of his forearm, red from inflammation from the lack of self-control and abundance of drunken and unknowing craze and disrespect.


Love is about accepting sincere apologies. Love is about working out our problems together and knowing when it's time to change our ways or time to get help. Love is understanding, encouraging and being that help.


Love is endless. When life ends, love continues on. Love is still sensing and feeling their guiding presence and energy even when they are gone, sending signs and clues on your life-path to keep you focused, healthy and heart-strong.


Love is omnipotent. Love is omnipresent. Love is all around.


Love is having someone there to support and encourage the rants, ravings and fantasies of the ever-intrigued and overly-creative dual-persona brought about through my ever-curious, usually chaotic and always thought-filled, Gemini-mind.






We'd like to know...


What do YOU know about love?

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Hello Healthy: A Simple Real Food Cleanse

2/1/2016

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Hello Healthy


Feeling a little under the weather?
Perhaps anxious, tired or blue?
Start giving yourself some TLC...
This is the easiest and hardest thing to do.


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Our bodies were created to heal themselves, as long as we actively give ourselves proper nutrients and care. Just as the rise in the American “fast-paced lifestyle” has increased mental stress & anxiety levels over the last few decades, the rise in production of synthetic materials and ingredients (also known as the Industrial Revolution) have caused Americans to be accustomed to foods high in processed ingredients. These processed ingredients can be considered “toxic” when referring to a real food diet. Toxins inhibit the body's natural healing processes. While toxic ingredients can be found in a plethora of household ingredients including make-up, hair products, cleaning products & aerosol sprays, the best place to start ridding your environment of toxins is in your diet. It's true when they say, “You are what you eat.”

Simple Real Food Cleanse

...
This simple cleanse will introduce you to the basics of a Real Food diet so you may begin your journey of wellness and healing.
…


  • Start your morning with a full glass of lemon water (room temp, no ice).
    • This gets your metabolism moving first thing.
    • Option to add cucumber slices for a balanced flavor and additional detox benefits.

  • Enjoy more, smaller “meals” (or snacks) throughout the day. These smaller meals can include smoothies*, salads, trail mix, veggies & hummus, rice cakes & nut-butter, etc.

  • Refrain from processed sugars, caffeine, alcohol and smoking during your cleanse. Taking a break from these ingredients is the only true way we can give our liver and kidneys the chance to cleanse themselves, which is fundamental to our health.
    • Substitute your morning coffee with a cup of Teeccino Herbal Coffee (available in several flavors) or an Herbal Detox Tea (Yogi or Traditional Medicinal brands are great).
    • If you find you need the caffeine, stick to green tea or limit your coffee intake to one cup per day. Drinking more water will also boost your energy naturally.
    • Avoid sodas. Replace with natural fruit juices. Mix with seltzer water for carbonation.
      • Cranberry juice (100% juice, not cocktail) is beneficial for kidney health.
    • Substitute white sugar with coconut palm sugar, pure maple syrup, or pure raw honey. Sugars in general should be used in moderation.

  • Avoid processed foods during your cleanse. Reading the ingredients is an easy way to tell whether or not your food is processed. If it contains enriched or bleached wheat flour or high fructose corn syrup along with other words you can barely pronounce, chances are it will contain many more ingredients that aren't so good for us.
    • Eat more veggies and whole grains (quinoa, oats, brown rice) with each meal.
    • Meats and starches (as well as fruit) take longer to digest alone than they would if consumed with vegetables.
    • Vegetables help speed the digestion process, aiding the body in its cleanse.

  • Limit your dairy intake.
    • Surprisingly enough, our digestive system is not meant to digest animal milk. Instead, try a non-dairy milk such as Silk brands of almond, cashew or coconut. They are available flavored, sweetened, or unsweetened. Avoid soy milk as well as brands that have carrageenan in the ingredients.
    • Substitute butter with cold-pressed, unrefined coconut oil or ghee. Avoid margarine.

  • Stay hydrated.
    • Most people aren't getting enough water intake throughout the day. This can cause the body to react with various symptoms including fatigue, foggy thinking, headache, body/muscle ache, blurry vision, as well as a feeling of anxiety and “hunger.” Many times when we think we feel hungry, its actually our body telling us to get hydrated.
    • Drinking water throughout the day helps to flush toxins out of your system.
    • To estimate the amount of water (or non-sugary, non-dairy liquids) you should be drinking daily, divide your body weight in half. [ex: If you weigh 150lbs, you should be drinking 75oz of water].


  • Stay Active.
    • Inactivity leads to more health problems. If you find that you sit most of the day, make it a point to get up and move around! This is the easiest way to help heal our bodies. A quick walk around the block or a simple work-out will get our blood pumping, speeding the cleansing and detoxification process.
      • Simple exercises that involve twisting also help to revitalize our vital organs. I love to practice “restorative” or “yin” yoga because it encourages the body to regenerate without the need for a strenuous work-out. This is the best type of gentle work-out for body a cleanse. Check out the channel SaraBethYoga on YouTube for some simple restorative how-to videos.

  • Breathe.
    • You'd be surprised how many are unaware that there is such a thing as “proper breath technique.” On an inhale counting to 4, slowly feel your breath starting low in your diaphragm and follow it up to your navel. Allow your shoulders to relax and rib-cage to expand as your breath moves to your chest and upper back, to your neck then up to the crown of your head. Hold for 7 seconds, then exhale on an 8 count, feeling your navel push back towards your spine as you release. Hold for a second then count to 4 with your next inhale. Be sure not to force the breath. You want this to feel as relaxing as a yawn. Practicing this 4-7-8 pattern will encourage relaxation and a better sleep. A good night's sleep will allow the body to work towards healing as we sleep.
    • Try this video for a simple How to- Breath Meditation to calm the mind.

  • Consider a probiotic.
    • Probiotics are needed for optimum gut health. When our guts are imbalanced, the “bad” bacteria takes over, causing all sorts of health issues including acne, inflammation, IBS, scaly skin, and more. By taking a probiotic, you are introducing more “good” bacteria into your gut, which in turn lowers the level of “bad” bacteria.
    • Probiotics can be found in various foods such as sourdough bread & Greek yogurt. Kombucha Tea is another great source for probiotics. However, the easiest way to keep your gut happy is through a probiotic capsule.
      • Plexus is a great company that offers probiotic capsules as well as other vitamins and supplements. (If you are interested in learning more, I can get you in contact with a local Plexus ambassador). If you find this Simple Real Food Cleanse isn't for you, Plexus carries a product called Slim that works towards similar detoxifying health goals. Simply mix their Slim powder in a bottle of water and enjoy! (Tastes like berries!)
    • Probiotics can also be found at your local natural foods store such as Whole Foods, The Green Grocer in Portsmouth, Nature's Goodness in Middletown, as well as the A Market in Newport.

*Example Smoothie Combinations:
Here are a few examples of smoothies I enjoy regularly. Have fun and get creative with your ingredients!


  • Carrot, Cucumber, ginger, turmeric*, & flax seed in an orange juice base. Add ice and blend.

  • Banana, Spinach, Orange Juice & Cashew milk with a dash of cinnamon, turmeric* & tsp of honey. Add ice and blend well until spinach is broken down.

  • Banana, orange juice & mixed berries (or your choice of frozen fruit blend). If using frozen fruit, you can omit the ice. However, if you would like a more “slushy” beverage, go ahead and add ice until you've reached desired consistency.


*The anti-inflammatory properties of turmeric are activated and absorbed into our system better when combined with black pepper. Anytime I use turmeric, I add a dash of black pepper as well.



For some great nutrient-dense smoothie additives, check out our selection of Natural and Organic Wellness products at NYR Organics!


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Words of Encouragement:

Ideally, this Simple Real Food Cleanse should be done for a minimum of 3 days but feel free to stick with it for a lifetime. No matter how long or how little you participate in this Simple Real Food Cleanse, be sure to not be so hard on yourself. Any type of change takes time, especially when it comes to our health.

Everyone is different
.

Believe in yourself and stay motivated with your goal. Remember, you are on your very own journey of health and happiness. This is a journey that only you alone can take total control over. Negative thoughts and judgments stem from your own mind. They are imaginings. They are not real. You have the ability to declare health over your body and soul. Get excited to make the change. Stay positive. You can do this.




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If you have any questions, comments or concerns feel free comment below or to email me directly at adjean527@gmail.com, with "Hello Healthy" in the subject line.






Disclaimer: (Because legally I have to...) This information is for educational purposes only and is not intended to diagnose, treat, or cure any ailments. As always, use common sense and contact your medical professional.

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    ...
    Minimalist.
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    Ideology:

    ...
    We were put here to take care of our earth;

    To make use of the treasures and gifts hidden within.

    To be one with nature.

    To be nurtured by nature.
    ...

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